Can Harsh Truth That Hurts, Bring Healing?
I am offended. I find this offensive. We hear this said repeatedly. Society has interpreted this to mean that an apology must follow, but should it? The word implies I have mis-stepped and should stop whatever I'm doing.
To offend is to cause irritation, to annoy, to cause resentful displeasure, or to anger. The offense usually has more to do with a persons feelings. Something that contradicts their personal self concept, image, or their core values. Most probably their self conscious emotions. So is this really about someone's ego? I'm guessing that was offensive.
How can I know someone's personal feelings? How can I know someone's experiences that have shaped their offense? What if their 'taking offense' offends me? Is it the responsibility to the offender to hold all the blame for someone's feelings? Has this become a line in the sand to stop dialogue? How are we to learn if we do not discuss the offensive? The discussion may not change eithers perspective, but at least, you will be heard.
Why are humans afraid to discuss difficult topics? Just like the scared dog becomes aggressive to frighten others that mean them not harm, this happens to the offended and offender. We just stand there barking at one another with no resolution.
How do we stop the circle of bad communication around offense? Should emotional appeals of offense over ride reality and objective fact? Can it be asked that when a person takes offense at something, it may say more about their heart? Is this a heart issue? The human heart, the core being, the self is inherently deceitful. Jeremiah 17:9 teaches that the heart is beyond understanding, desperately sick and beyond cure. Who can know and understand it? Verse 10 has the answer.
No one should have the desire to be offensive on purpose, but there are times when speaking truth will be unavoidable and cause offense. Col 4:5-6 reminds us to be wise around others, making the most of every opportunity. That our speech should be full of grace as though seasoned with salt. Can this salt result in a pearl such as an irritant or offense produces in the oyster?
What does seasoned with salt mean? Salt enhances flavor of food by suppressing bitterness. It is a preservative and has antiseptic properties. Salt is pure, essential and necessary. So, metaphorically, our speech should enhance conversation and suppress offense. Communication is necessary, essential and should be pure. What if this approach is still offensive? We should never be bullied into silence or intimidated to change our message.
Truth is that sometimes others find us offensive because of who we are or what we represent. In Mark 6:1-6 the local residents listening to Jesus teaching in the synagogue, though they were astonished, they found Him offensive because they knew who He was and where He was from. His disciples pointed out that the Pharisees were offended by His teachings in Matthew 15:1-14 when He accused them of invalidating the Word of God for sake of tradition. Rabbi Jesus quoted Isaiah 29:13, They worship Me with their lips but their heart is far from Me. He goes on to tell the disciples in verse 14 to let them alone. Did the Salt of truth sting an open wound? Jesus Himself even asked His disciples if the teachings offended them as He was teaching hard truths in John 6:41-71.
Certainly there are many examples in scripture of Jesus in regards to offense. His teachings were hard and not popular. He spoke of repeated forgiveness, the first being last, selling everything and giving to the poor are just a few examples. He did not back down or change His message soften the sting. His truth is the Truth and does not change, John 14:6. Those who do not take offense in Him are blessed according to Matthew 11:6 and Luke 7:23.
Paul asks us to speak Biblical truth in love and Peter reminded us to always be ready to give the reason for our hope, but to do so with gentleness and kindness. Just as salt can sting a wound and have antiseptic properties, truth will sting the soul where there is a need to awakened to the Truth. Now let's see if we can turn that into a pearl.
Karen Neas
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